{"id":5433,"date":"2016-05-13T14:18:30","date_gmt":"2016-05-13T14:18:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mentalnitrening.com\/15-tips-for-parents-at-competitions\/"},"modified":"2024-11-08T23:05:09","modified_gmt":"2024-11-08T23:05:09","slug":"15-tips-for-parents-at-competitions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mentalnitrening.com\/en\/15-tips-for-parents-at-competitions\/","title":{"rendered":"15 tips for parents at competitions"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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First situation: another in a series of tennis tournaments for younger age groups. We pass by the court, and the parent of one child approaches another and asks: ‘Is this your child?’<\/em> Upon receiving a confirmation, the situation unfolds: ‘Your child called the ball out, but it was in.’<\/em> A few more polite words follow, and then the worst street-level curses\u2026 <\/p>\n

Second situation: ‘How are you doing?’<\/em> asks one parent to another who is watching his daughter’s match. The other, visibly confused by the phrasing of the question, replies: I\u2019m doing fine, it’s just a bit cold. But if you’re asking about the score of my daughter\u2019s match, it\u2019s…” <\/em><\/p>\n

Similar situations are very common in our work. Almost on a daily basis, we advise parents on how they should react and behave during their children’s performances. Some are willing to accept the advice, while others are only willing to listen with the mindset: in one ear, out the other. As for changing their behavior, that’s another story. <\/p>\n

For this reason, we have prepared 15 concrete tips on how to behave on the court while supporting your child!<\/p>\n

Practical advice for parents of athletes:<\/h5>\n
    \n
  1. The role of parents in sports is support<\/strong>  in achieving goals. Support means being there for your child’s needs, but not crossing boundaries. Your support is what builds the relationship between parent and child. <\/li>\n
  2. Financial and technical support is your task, the rest is the role of the coach.<\/li>\n
  3. There is no need to constantly communicate with the coaches about every little thing. Let the people you’ve chosen to do their job. Try to accept that most coaches are, after all, more qualified than you are. <\/li>\n
  4. Your task also includes taking care of the parental role outside of sports. Your child is not just a swimmer, soccer player, basketball player, tennis player… They are also a student, a friend to their friends, and your son or daughter. Raising them and participating in their development is entirely your responsibility. <\/li>\n
  5. Lighten the load for your child when they are concerned about sports\u2026 Listen, but don\u2019t give advice like ‘Be careful not to\u2026’ or ‘Don\u2019t do this, you can\u2019t\u2026’<\/em> Just make sure that\u2026 Leave that part to the coach.  <\/strong>If necessary, consult a sports psychologist.<\/strong><\/li>\n
  6. Setting tasks and goals before the competition, as well as guiding how to prepare for the competition and analyzing the competition (what went well and what didn\u2019t), is also the coach\u2019s responsibility<\/strong>, not yours.<\/li>\n
  7. Every sport is different, and as parents, you\u2019re not always experts. You are experts in parenting, and your children are ‘experts’ in their sport. Sometimes, you have to accept that your child knows more than you, regardless of their age. No one likes to be told what to do or how to do it by someone who knows less than they do \u2013 whether the advice is good or not. <\/li>\n
  8. Don’t deceive yourself into thinking you’re objective when it comes to your child.  No one<\/strong>  can be objective when it comes to their own child!<\/li>\n
  9. Don\u2019t label your child with just one role. For example, ‘You are a tennis player, soccer player, karatist\u2026’<\/em> Most likely, your child is not any of these things yet. Your child is Marko\/Marina, and they play\/train tennis, soccer, karate. What if your child doesn\u2019t succeed in their sport or decides to stop practicing it? What role will they have left? <\/li>\n
  10. Resist the urge to comfort or analyze after the competition: “Well, it was good… Not bad… Well done, it was excellent…” <\/em> Your perspective may or may not be accurate. What\u2019s much more important than your view is how your child assesses their competition. Talk to your child and ask about their emotions and experiences. <\/li>\n
  11. After a poor competition performance, don’t try to convince your child otherwise; simply be supportive and encourage your child to talk to the coach. You may be a former professional athlete in the sport your child is involved in, but they will not accept your advice the same way they would accept their coach’s advice, even if the advice is identical. <\/li>\n
  12. After a good competition performance, just congratulate and be genuinely happy, maybe ask what the coach said, and be sure to let your child share their impressions with you.<\/li>\n
  13. Resist ‘false’ encouragement: ‘You\u2019re the best\u2026 You\u2019ll win\u2026 You\u2019re better than everyone else\u2026’<\/em> This is often not true, and the child is often aware of it. After a poor result, the child will only become more disappointed and upset. <\/li>\n
  14. Before the competition, avoid any questions about form and results (calm your curiosity<\/em>), and instead, listen to your child. Your involvement sometimes does more harm than good. <\/li>\n
  15. During the match, your only role is support and encouragement! <\/strong>At that moment, the child doesn’t need any advice, nor do they have the capacity to accept it. The child usually knows when they made a mistake and doesn\u2019t need it pointed out. They notice your body language and your energy. Don\u2019t allow them to seek your approval of their performance during the match, game, or race. <\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    These are, of course, just some of our tips for parents. Naturally, the advice is intended for everyone, especially those who want to work on themselves and improve their relationship with their child for progress. The advice presented here is not easy to implement. Remember that we are all made of flesh and blood; most parents want the best for their children. However, good intentions don\u2019t always lead to good outcomes. The vast majority of the tens of thousands of children involved in some form of sport in Croatia will not become professional athletes. But this fact doesn\u2019t prevent them from becoming quality people who, through their involvement in sports, have learned very important life lessons. Your support on this journey is immeasurably important. <\/p>\n

    \"\"<\/p>\n

    Luka \u0160krinjari\u0107, M.Psych.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    First situation: another in a series of tennis tournaments for younger age groups. We walk past the court, and the parent of one child approaches another and asks: ‘Is this your child?’ <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":4773,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[49,45,47,43,50],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5433","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-emotion-control","category-focus","category-for-parents","category-mental-training","category-motivation"],"yoast_head":"\n15 tips for parents at competitions - Practical advice for parents of athletes<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"15 tips for parents at competitions. 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